"It's Probably Just Teething" means NOTHING

Teething, schmeething. Does it REALLY matter why my 15-month-old boys have diarrhea? And does it REALLY matter whether or not they have a virus, are teething, or ate something bad, especially when it doesn't change the insane amount of awful diapers I am faced with all day? I'll answer that for you..no. No it does NOT matter. What does matter is that this has got to end. There is not enough zinc oxide in the world to schmear on their tushies or non-alcoholic wipes to keep them from screaming...(which at times leads to me screaming). There is not a high enough dose of Prozac or "happy places" for my mind to go right now. And this is the worst part...ok, I half-laugh at this ONLY because it's truly the icing on the cake... the "kick, roll and crawl away" technique that they both have mastered right after I just applied a half cup of thick white diaper rash paste and a pile of cornstarch in their diaper and only had enough time to fasten one side. Mmmmm. Love that.

Wait, I have to go back to the cornstarch comment I made...incase anyone doesn't know...my brother, pediatrician and saving grace to my sanity for one solid year after the twins were born, has always sworn by using cornstarch in the diaper for diaper rashes. Forgot this trick until last night's Google-fest which I titled "parenting tips tricks home remedies severe diaper rash." Apparently lots of people know about cornstarch. And someone even recommended putting it in a pan and frying it for 30 minutes until it turns brown for an even FASTER diaper rash recovery. I drew the line at that one. I will NOT spend 30 minutes cooking cornstarch. I will, however, spend 30 minutes reading the comments made on that post just to make myself feel more justified having NOT wanted to waste my "mom time" last night in the kitchen. So, plain cornstarch was going to have to do. And I'd love to tell you how that's working, but I've only used it once and it's too soon to tell.

Side note...will someone please buy our house? I will throw in a kid at no extra cost and even keep a bedroom furnished for them. Three kids to choose from. Your choice. Ugh...I am SO over this whole buying/selling experience. I'm sitting on the couch and out of the corner of my eye I can already tell I have to mop the floors...again...incase someone comes to show the house. Which you know they won't since I'm going to mop and perfect everything. I LOOOOVE our house looking like a stage-home that only hints at the idea of children ACTUALLY living here, but to GET there is such an ordeal. Truth be told, I kind of like the challenge every morning. Not gonna lie. When I put the twins down for nap #1, I walk downstairs and feel like I have been put to the test. Like my house is saying "Oh yeah? Try to clean up this one, Loren. Dare you." And then I kick it's ass. Every time. No exceptions. In the house vs. Loren scenario, the OCD Mom always wins.